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Worry and dilemma – our inner software

 One man got up from deep sleep with a jolt. His friend asked him, ‘What happened?’

He replied, ‘I suddenly remembered that I forgot to take my sleeping pills.’

Worry is a deeply embedded pattern in us. It happens independently, without any solid, valid reason to justify it. It is an addiction like smoking and drinking. I read about some recent research conducted at the American College of Chest Physicians. It said that the proportion of people classified as highly nicotine dependent has increased by thirty two percent in the last eighteen years!

Any addiction happens because we want to maintain our patterns. The same is true with worry. You worry to maintain patterns. It becomes your nature.

Understand that the mind is like a piece of hardware programmed with the software called ‘worry’. For example, let us say you experience depression, or worry, every morning at ten o’clock when thinking of all your unfinished office work. Ten o’clock gets recorded as a low mood time for you. Everyday at exactly ten o‘clock you will experience a disturbance in your mood. Many of you might have experienced this. The same low mood happens on Sunday when there is no office to go to. Then you tell yourself, ‘No, today is a Sunday. I don’t need to go to the office. I don’t need to think about those things.’ Then you have relief but the mind goes back again and again to the same mood, because our mind is programmed hardware.

The stress of suffering or worrying becomes part of our being. If the worry or stress is taken away from us, we feel lonely. We feel we are missing something. When we enter into old age, there won’t be much to worry about because no one will expect us to solve any problems. If you watch elderly people, even if their children are married, and sometimes even their grandchildren are married, they will sit religiously every day and read the ‘wanted bride and groom’ column in the newspaper!

One more thing is that when we fall into this software, this worry, again and again, we often end up in dilemma.

What is a dilemma? It is moving back and forth when making a decision. The moving happens because there are so many thoughts inside you trying to put their signatures on your final decision! There is great conflict between these thoughts because they were recorded at different times and under different circumstances. So they conflict with each other when a decision has to be made. This conflict becomes your dilemma. For each person, the dilemma is different. There are no standards or rules for a dilemma.

A small story:

One friend said to the other, ‘I am in love with two girls. One is very beautiful, but has no money. The other one is not that beautiful, but she has a lot of money. Whom should I marry?’

His friend replied, ‘I am sure that you really love the beautiful girl, so I think you should marry her.’

The man was relieved. He said, ‘Thank you very much!’

The friend asked, ‘I wonder if you could give me the name and telephone number of the other girl!’

The crisis is different for every person because the mind is made up of a unique set of thoughts for each person. When the thoughts are different, the dilemma becomes different. The worry

becomes different.

A blind man and his guide dog entered a hotel and sat down at a table. After ordering some food, he spoke loudly to the people there, ‘Do you want to hear a blonde joke?’

The whole room fell silent. One man went up to him and told him, ‘Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The hotel owner is blonde, the security guard is blonde, and I am a six foot tall, 200-pound blonde, with a black belt in karate. The lady to your right is a blonde wrestler. Think about it seriously. Do you still want to tell that joke?’

 The blind man said, ‘No, not if I have to explain it five times.’

Each one’s worry is different, according to one’s own inner software!

The big problem is that you become so used to your inner software that you end up like an island that is cut off from the fragrance of the mainland. You are cut off from the fragrance of Existence because of your worries. You miss the miracles of Existence that are continuously happening around you. You forget to appreciate and remember only to complain. You forget laughter and remember only anxiety. You forget bliss and remember only stress. Remembering these negative things becomes a mere habit.

Another small story:

One day a dog entered a butcher’s shop. The butcher tried to chase it away but the dog persisted and came back. Suddenly the butcher noticed a note in the dog’s mouth. The butcher went near the dog and took the note. Someone had written the items to order on it.

The butcher then saw a ten-dollar bill tucked in the dog’s collar. He took the money, put the ordered items in a bag, and placed it in the dog’s mouth. He was completely in awe of the dog. He closed down his shop and decided to follow the dog wherever it went.

The dog walked down the street to the crosswalk. He put down the bag, jumped up and pressed the button. He waited patiently with the bag in his mouth for the green signal to appear. The moment it appeared, he crossed the road. The butcher also crossed the road along with him.

Then the dog came to a bus stop and looked at the timetable. He checked out the times and then sat on one of the benches waiting for the bus to come. Soon, a bus came. The dog jumped down, walked around to the front of the bus, looked at the number and went back to his seat and sat down.

Another bus came. Again the dog jumped down and went to look at the number. He saw that it was the right bus and climbed in. The butcher could not believe it. He also got on the bus.

After a few stops, the dog stood up and pushed the button for the bus to stop. He got down with the bag in his mouth and started walking. The butcher followed him.

The dog entered a gate and dropped the bag on the doorstep. He jumped up and rang the doorbell. There was no response. So, he jumped onto a windowsill and banged his head against the glass several times. He then waited at the door.

The butcher was watching the whole thing.

 A fat man came and opened the door. To the butcher’s surprise, the man started abusing the dog. The butcher couldn’t bear to see it. He ran to the door and asked him, ‘Sir, what are you doing? The dog is a genius. He is helping you so much! Why are you abusing him?’

The man replied, ‘You call him clever? This is the second time this week that he forgot to take his key!’

 There are so many miracles happening around us! But all the time we are moving down the track of our own inner software, so we miss the miracles. 

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