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Worry – a legacy passed down

Worry is an unwanted legacy passed down from grandparents to parents to children. Children are like sponges. They simply absorb the body language and attitude of the parents. The parents are not even aware this is happening. For example, if a child    hears the mother repeating a certain worry four or five times, the child simply internalizes the habit. He grows up repeating statements unnecessarily, which is one attribute of worry.

Ultimately he carries the worry with him into marriage and then both he and his wife must deal with it, even though it was originally his mother’s concern. They will then hand it down to their children, unless they stop naming it and learn to live with what IS.

One  man was pushing his baby in a pram. The baby was screaming at the top of his voice. All the while the man kept repeating quietly, ‘Keep calm George. Don’t scream. It will be okay.’

His wife told him to keep quiet.

A woman who was watching this said to the wife, ‘Why are you so rude to him? He is really doing his best to pacify your son!’

The wife looked at her with resentment, pointed to her husband and told her, ‘He is George.’

When parents express constant worry, children grow up thinking life goes on only because of worry! Understand that life goes on not because of us, but in spite of us!

One man had just moved into a remote part of a village. One day, he was seen throwing handfuls of bread crumbs around his house.

His neighbor who was watching him asked him, ‘What are you doing?’

The man replied, ‘I am keeping the tigers away.’

The neighbor was surprised. He said, ‘But there are no tigers in these parts!’

The man replied, ‘That’s right. Very effective, isn’t it?’

This is how we are trained to worry! The other day, I read a survey about worries. It said that forty percent of the things we worry about never happen, thirty percent are in the past and can’t be helped, twelve percent concern the affairs of others that are not our business, ten percent are about illnesses that are mostly imagined, eight percent are worth worrying about but they are also not worth the energy to worry. They can be overcome by simply putting faith into action. So really, zero percent of our worries are worth the effort!

People will believe anything that is said with statistics! So I am talking with statistics. Otherwise, just one line is enough: don’t worry, just do. Things will happen as they should!

 The problem is that parents expect their children to worry! If they don’t worry, they brand them as uncaring. It is possible to care without worrying. Care is doing, worry is chattering. There is no use chattering. Chattering is like trying to cross a bridge before it comes.

A young boy was driving his mother to the

neighboring village. They were nearing the village when they remembered a particular bridge that used to be very old and unusable.

The mother got very anxious and said, ‘I will never cross that bridge by car.’

The son said, ‘Let’s see how it looks when we come to it.’

 The mother said, ‘I’m sure the bridge will break if we attempt to cross it.’

The son replied, ‘Let’s see how strong it is. We won’t cross it without checking it carefully.’ The mother said, ‘If something happens to you or me, your father will never forgive me.’ She kept going on like this, becoming more and more upset.

 Soon they reached the spot where the bridge stood. The bridge had been replaced with a new one!

 There are two things to understand: chronological planning and psychological worry. Chronological planning is needed to set up a schedule for tasks or projects to be completed. For example, you decide, ‘I will wake up at six a.m., do my meditation, then take a shower at seven a.m., and leave for the office by eight a.m. I’ll finish work by five p.m. and return home by six p.m.’

This type of planning is perfectly alright. But before you come to each task on your list, you start creating anxiety about it. You think of the pros and cons of each, etc. This is called psychological worry! This is not needed. Chronological planning is fine, but psychological worry is not needed. It is like trying to cross a bridge before it comes.

So much energy is spent worrying, and it is all of no use. In the story I just narrated, it does not mean that the son does not care. He cares without worry, that’s all. Why contemplate over the bridge even before it comes?

Understand that sensitivity is different from worry. You can be very sensitive to the moment, but not worry at all. If you see children, they are highly sensitive to you when you are sick. But they won’t worry like you do. As long as your child is sensitive to others’ needs, it is perfectly fine. He doesn’t have to worry to show it. In fact, be happy he doesn’t multiply the worries in the house!

You can clean the physical parts of your house like your carpets and floors, but what about the space inside your house? This space is the energy that circulates throughout your house. It captures all the thoughts you radiate. It sets the very mood of the house. Your worries rest like cobwebs in the space of your house. That is why when you enter your house, you experience a familiar pattern of worry. The patterns remaining in the space of your house grip you when you return to it. Understand that your mental setup settles into the space of your house.

By contaminating the space in your house, you subject others to the impure environment without their consent. That is the problem. Many people perform rituals in their homes to cleanse the energy, but that is not enough. After the ritual, you again start airing your negative thoughts in your space. Unless you break free from the mental setup or worry, there is no point in doing cleansing rituals in your home. Along with rituals, you must start airing positive thoughts, so the energy in your house will remain clean.

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