Dual identities
Both the identities, ahankar and mamakar, are pure myths! You are something beyond these two identities.
Dual identities
W We all have two identities, the identity that we project to the outer world, and the identity that we believe to be us in the inner world.
The identity that you believe to be you inside your mind is called mamakar* in Sanskrit. It will always be much smaller than what you really are. You will carry or remember all your failures, past mistakes and guilt, constantly trying to work on them.
The identity that you project to the outer world is called ahankar*. Ahankar* is your visiting card. You print on it everything that you want others to know about yourself. This is based on the identity you show to the outer world. It will always be more than what you have, more than what you are. It will always be much more than what you are because you think you have to sell yourself. It becomes a basic need to do this, especially in the societies where you have to market yourself.
Ahankar will be based on a superiority complex. Mamakar* will be based on an inferiority complex. Ahankar will be based on fear. Mamakar will be based on greed.
A small story:
A man arrived home after giving a series of leadership talks to groups of employees at a company. His wife asked, ‘How did the talks go?’
The man replied, ‘Okay, I guess. But I am not sure how many people understood what I said.’ The wife asked, ‘Why do you feel that way?’
The man said, ‘Because I don’t understand it myself!’
The identity that you show to the outer world will always be based on fear. This is why it will always be more than what is true about you. You will constantly try to keep it alive. The identity that you carry in the inner world is based on greed.
This is why you always try to develop the identity that you carry inside you. You constantly work on the identity that you believe is you and continuously try to chisel it.
Your life is nothing but the fight between these two worlds. The conflict between ahankar and mamakar, the conflict between the personality that you show to the outer world and the personality that you reveal in your inner world is called ‘tension’. The uneasy feeling between these two identities creates dis-easeness.
Both the identities, ahankar and mamakar, are pure myths, both are lies! You are something beyond these two identities.
If you spend your whole energy expanding ahankar, the identity that you project to the outer world, your life becomes materialistic. People who work on mamakar are constantly working on their personality, trying to create some identity to feel satisfied about. If you spend your whole life chiseling and developing mamakar, the identity that you think is you, your whole life becomes moralistic and suppressing.
The basic truth is that you are much more than these two identities. When you unclutch from these two identities, you will suddenly realize that you are beyond the two identities. When that happens, these two identities can never bind you again.
Glossary:
* Ahankar – The false identification of the pure inner self with the outer world. A form of ego that makes you project a false identity of you to the outer world.
* Mamakar – Inner ego that constantly says that you are smaller than what you think you are.
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