Pages Navigation Menu

How to overcome jealousy

Jealousy cannot be overcome either by escaping from it or hating the object of jealousy. All you need to do is just be fully aware when the feeling of jealousy arises. 


How to overcome jealousy

 Jealousy is closely related to many negative emotions like anger, greed, possessiveness and depression. All of these emotions will dissolve when we break this cycle of jealousy.

1. Witnessing

Jealousy cannot be overcome either by escaping from it or hating the object of jealousy. All you need to do is just be fully aware when the feeling of jealousy arises. You will be surprised, it simply disappears.

The enlightened master Buddha says, ‘Destroy those envying roots and enjoy lasting peace.’

Just be aware and destroy the jealousy, competition, envy and comparison that have robbed you of your very nature of bliss. Use the light of awareness to reveal the shadow nature of these negative emotions. Otherwise, you are just caught in the rat race. I always tell people, even if you win the rat race, you are still just a rat!

The way out of jealousy is not by suppressing it or denying its existence.

The way out of jealousy is not by suppressing it or denying its existence. Expressing and encouraging it is also not the way because then you are not ready to face the jealousy with awareness.

Just watch how jealousy arises in you, how it develops into hatred for the object of jealousy, how it creates restlessness and frustration inside you and makes you lose all of your peace and calm.

Be aware of the jealousy instead of hating it or the object of your jealousy. Just watch, as if you have nothing to do with it. Look at it with a scientific attitude. What do I mean by a scientific attitude?

When a scientist is experimenting, he simply experiments without any judgment, without any pre-determined conclusion. If he has a conclusion already in his mind, that means he is not a scientist because his conclusion may influence the experiment.

Now, you are the scientist in the laboratory of the inner-world science. Be a scientist in your inner world and let your mind be your laboratory. Just be aware and witness without any prejudice.

If it is your experience that jealousy is a negative emotion you will drop it automatically.

Don’t condemn the emotion saying it is bad because that is what you have been taught. It has not become your experience. If it is your experience that jealousy is a negative emotion you will drop it automatically. It has not become your own experience. It is only something that you have picked up from others. Unless it becomes an experiential understanding in you that jealousy and comparison are negative, it will not become a part of you.

Don’t condemn the object of jealousy. The object has not generated the emotion from outside. The jealousy is happening inside you.

Once you see your jealousy with awareness, you will realize that it does not have a basis for existence at all. When this happens, jealousy will drop automatically. You won’t have to drop it.

A small story:

A woman once hired a professional artist to paint her portrait. The artist carefully made a large portrait and then presented it to her saying, ‘How do you like it?’

The lady looked at it and said, ‘Yes, very nice. But can you add a few things? I want you to add a glittering diamond necklace, a gold watch and bracelet, emerald earrings and beautiful pearl rings on the fingers.’ The artist was surprised and said, ‘But madam, the portrait looks simple and beautiful as it is. Why do you want to add all the jewelry and clutter it?’

The woman replied, ‘I want my rich neighbors to see the painting and go crazy when they see all the jewelry that they will think I have.’

The fire of jealousy can just consume you completely if you don’t control it with the fire extinguisher of your awareness.

2. Infinite love

 You misunderstand love to be something outside of you that has to be acquired..

Jealousy does not allow you to experience your true nature of love and bliss. It arises out of misunderstanding life and yourself. You misunderstand love to be something outside of you that has to be acquired. Not only that, you think love is a quantity that needs to be shared. That is why you are afraid, thinking that if you share your love, your share will be reduced.

Love is a quality inside you. It is not a limited quantity. It is an unending happening overflowing from within you. It cannot be blocked by anything or anybody except you because it is your very nature.

Once love starts flowing, jealousy and possessiveness and all that simply become non-existent. If you accept yourself just as you are, you can accept others also as they are.

3. Ocean of energy

There is an immense reservoir of energy inside us that most of us are not even aware of.

This technique puts you in touch with the tremendous energy inside of you. There is an immense reservoir of energy inside us that most of us are not even aware of. If you know how to tap into this vast energy source, you can simply go beyond what you now think are your limitations.

The key to this meditation is to keep the mind fixed on the throat region, the location of the vishuddhi chakra *, throughout the technique. When you do this, the cosmic energy enters through the vishuddhi chakra * and becomes a tremendous source of energy for you.

Stand with your eyes closed and focus on your vishuddhi chakra*. Stand behind a chair or some support and hold it and start walking slowly, very slowly in the same spot where you are standing.

Now start increasing your pace very gradually. Keep walking faster and faster in the same spot. Push your limits only to the extent that you can, with no discomfort. Don’t over-exert yourself at any time. At all times focus on the vishuddhi. You will be able to feel the energy coming from it. The important thing is never to slow down at any point in time but always keep your awareness on the throat region. Stop after twenty minutes.

Then, for the next ten minutes, just sit down quietly wherever you are. Keep your eyes closed and focus on the vishuddhi. You will absorb the energy that is generated during the movement.

Glossary:

* Vishuddhi chakra – Chakra or subtle energy center in the throat region. Locked by comparing ourselves with others. 

 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *